if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
