He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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