I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
