my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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