i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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