so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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