Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
