We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
