Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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