Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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