it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
