I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
We need to get me chipped asap
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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