I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
