I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
