Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
