I should be sponsored by Trojan
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
