you guys were way drunker than both of me
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
