I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
