"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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