My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
