She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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