Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize
