Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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