awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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