I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
mondays should just be called national damage control day
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize