I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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