so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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