i think my mom watched the whole time
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
