did you get engaged???
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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