Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Randomize
