good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize