i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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