i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize