Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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