Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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