Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
