If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
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