awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
