Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
