A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
