let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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