It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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