So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
