girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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