Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
