i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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