You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
