Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
