I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
there was a trapeze. enough said
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize