You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
