By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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