I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
