Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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