Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
