Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
