just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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