We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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