508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
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