wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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