you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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