Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
