halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
