A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
