:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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