okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
