Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Go christen that room with your naked body.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
