Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
She announced her abortion via fbk
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
