just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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