I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
