how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
pray to the hookup gods
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
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