Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
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