my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
