I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
