I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
